Units of Merry Measurement

The following puns come from the Measurement Nightmares Project for 2011 at the Harbor Lights Middle School in Bandon, Oregon. There are plenty more humorous items on that web page.

2,000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds
10 cards = 1 decacards
1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 fig newton
1,000 cubic centimeters of wet socks = 1 literhosen
1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
10 rations = 1 decoration
100 rations = 1 C-ration
2 monograms = 1 diagram
8 nickels = 2 paradigms
3 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV league
A millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = knot furlong
365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling = 1 lite year
16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Sterling
Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon
1,000 aches = 1 kilohurtz
Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
Shortest distance between two jokes = a straight line
453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

About The Author

Harbor Lights Middle School

Harbor Lights Middle School is a public middle school located in Bandon, Oregon.