Smoke ’Em if You Got ’Em

Quality has many identities. There is quality in the manufacturing of automobiles, quality in food preparation, quality in education, quality in surgical procedures, quality in document preparation, and of course air quality, which is the underlying theme of my ranting this week.

On Saturday, May 1, Michigan began enacting its own “no smoking” policy throughout the entire state. The only exceptions are casinos. So if you want to gamble with your money and perhaps with your health, you can travel to the smoke-laden casinos and hope some have plans for a smoke-free floor. Yes, I realize this is a topic that engenders strong lines of demarcation, but I’m confident the ban on smoking has more widespread acceptance than disapproval. As such, I thought it was appropriate to exhale my own smoke in this debate.

Recently, Oakland county executive, Brooks Patterson, stated that he would not enforce the ban in his county because it was an “unfunded directive.” After more than a hundred phone calls and e-mails, all in favor of the ban, he rescinded that statement and now is working to police the new directive. Other counties in Michigan clearly indicated their readiness for the smoking ban.

Here’s what I have difficulty understanding, though. As a nation concerned with impure drinking water, lead-based paint on toys, tainted seafood, and other defective products from China, we seem unable to decide what should be done with tobacco smoke, which is proven to be dangerous to our health. In Michigan, it took years before the ban was passed. Numerous states have already instituted smoking bans and, from what I have read, there has not been an appreciable reduction in the restaurant business.

Whether we are smokers or recipients of second-hand smoke, this is an issue that will continue to swirl like puffs from a cigarette.

Warnings on tobacco products plainly claim that smoking is a habit that might just kill you. In Canada, one of the warnings on a pack of smokes warns that “tobacco use can make you impotent,” but millions of people ignore the admonition and continue to light up.

Frankly, that’s their right, and I have no problem with that.

What disturbs me is when I have to be subjected to clouds of smoke in a restaurant while I try to enjoy some epicurean delight. I realize that most restaurants have a “no smoking” section, but smoke rarely adheres to assigned boundaries. It’s tantamount to having a “pee zone” in a swimming pool.

Florida has the most comprehensive smoking ban, which includes all restaurants, country clubs, bowling alleys, and even prisons.

In downtown Chicago, with hundreds of dining establishments, most are smoke-free. Having visited the Windy City recently, the restriction didn’t seem to create an appreciable lapse in customers. The restaurants were jammed.

Several hotel chains, including Marriott (which includes The Ritz-Carlton) adopted a total nonsmoking policy years ago. Violators are subject to a $250 fine if they should light up in their room. Now that’s an expensive smoke.

In addition, the Walt Disney Co. has banished cigarette smoking in Disney-branded films. Furthermore, it plans to place anti-smoking public service messages on DVDs of its films that contain smoking.

Also, NBC Universal Studios has committed to reducing the incidence of smoking in films rated for PG-13 or younger audiences. It’s a clear sign that smoking in movies is on the decline.

So I continue to wonder what took our Michigan legislature so long to enact a policy that is starting to sweep the nation. Unfortunately, like most issues coming before this dysfunctional group of blowhards, the only important issue seems to be their reelection.

Old war movies always had an instruction from the platoon sergeant who would utter those famous words to the troops, “Smoke ’em if you got ’em.” That troop directive may still be true today and in my way of thinking, if you have $7 for a pack of cigarettes and you are aware of the dangers inherent in smoking, go for it. It’s your right.

Smoke ’em if you got ’em. But please not around me.

Now, before I upset any more smokers in the audience, it’s time for me to butt out.

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